So that's what that means...

Food for thought. I’ve never given much thought to that phrase before. It’s meaning has always been pretty intrinsically understood. In fact, it goes something like this, “Hey, here’s some advice. It will provide nourishment for your brain. Think about it. Maybe it will eventually feed you something deliciously useful”. Yesterday as I walked home from the market I began to rework another way of interpreting it and it went something more like this, “Hi, I’m a delicious shrimp and white bean salad. You are going to have a thrilling time making me. It sure is going to suck when you take that new job and you don’t have any time to make me any more.” Whoa, where did that come from?

Maybe a little backstory is in order here. Here’s the really short version. I went to undergrad at NYU and studied Psychology. I went to grad school and got a Masters at Columbia, in Psychology. Next, I worked for two years at a hospital in Manhattan doing research in a psychological capacity. See the trend yet? Then, I realized one day (more like over the course of some months) that I spent all my down time cooking, reading cookbooks and asking other people about their cooking. See another trend? So, I bit the bullet and left my stable job doing admirable work. You know the one with amazing benefits, 29 PTO day’s (!) and a 401K, to wait tables. I decided to give myself some time. To stop being an overachiever and instead step back, take a moment and figure out what I really want to be doing with my life. I had been coasting on psychological autopilot for the better part of seven years, I needed a break.

So, in mid-May, I found myself working at a pretty fabulous restaurant that was very new. I got to experience the opening of a restaurant; including the anxiety of waiting on the New York Times food critic as well as the elation of drinking champagne after being awarded the two stars, from said food critic, that the chef hoped for. And truthfully, while I’m not going to wait tables for the rest of my life, right now I’m loving it. I spend my evenings moving around, talking about food and wine and having fun with my co-workers. “Meetings”, generally speaking, involve tasting wine and/or food and talking about it. This is not to say that waiting tables is a walk in the park, it is most definitely work. It’s just that it is pleasurable work that allots me hours and energy to explore.

This all brings me to my food-for-thought-shrimp-and-white-bean-salad-epiphany. Last week I was approached by the manager of the restaurant to ask if I would be interested in a management position. For all intents and purposes this was a major compliment and would be a definite step-up. I would work get to meet with wine reps, get to diffuse situations with fussy customers and learn to take inventory-- as well as a myriad of other responsibilities. I was asked to give an answer the next day. Reverting to my overachiever ways (also, slightly insecurely thinking that it’ll be a lot nicer to tell people I’m a restaurant manager than a server) I assumed that the only sensible thing to do would be to say yes. So, I did. I was slightly ambivalent about being an authority figure, about going from working the 30 hour weeks I currently work to doing 50 instead. And perhaps more than anything else, I was ambivalent about the commitment of at least one year there. No, I told myself, these are just normal nerves how silly you would be to pass up this opportunity. And so, that was that.... I thought.

Until yesterday when food, literally, began to feed my thoughts. How much I have been enjoying cooking lunch every day before work. Having time to meander through cookbooks and browse websites for the perfect recipe for that day. How happy I was to be walking home with spinach and shrimp and white beans and bacon to make a delicious summer lunch. How I truly enjoy waiting tables, working pretty minimal hours and being able to support myself. I realized, if I took this position I would sacrificing my original goal of giving myself time to explore. And so, just like that, the shrimp told me to slow down, take a breath and allow myself this year. And I decided to listen.

With a sigh of relief, and only minimal intrusive thoughts (along the lines of “You’re so lazy. Not taking a promotion just so you have more time to putter around in the kitchen? Who do you think you are?”) I went home and celebrated my reverted promotion by cooking a Warm Spinach Salad with Cannellini Beans and Shrimp, as well as a Lemon-Almond Buttermilk Loaf. And what do you know? The gods were shining on me yesterday as both were a major success.

The salad is really an ideal all-in-one meal. You got your healthy veggies, the creamy white beans which double fabulously as a carb-like substitute, your lean protein in the shrimp and smattering of bacon-- for good measure. The warm shallot and red wine vinaigrette added great acidity and perfectly wilted the spinach. As for the loaf, a perfect summer dessert. Sort of like lemonade, but in cake form. The ground almonds mixed with the flour provide substantial texture and the holes poked in the top of the cake allow the lemon glaze to seep through the top 1/4’’ of the dish. I didn’t have it around this time, but I think that topped with a dollop of creme fraiche and some blueberries this might approach perfection. But for now, I just want to say thank you to food for nourishing my thoughts and providing the advice that I needed.

Warm Spinach Salad with Cannellini Beans and Shrimp
adapted from, Food & Wine, April 2008
1/2 lb. baby spinach (7 cups)
3 slices of bacon, cut crosswise into 1/2" strips
1 lb. shelled and deveined large shrimp
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
One 15 oz can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
1/8 cup plus 1 T extra-virgin olive oil
1 small shallot, minced
1 T Dijon mustard
1/8 cup red wine vinegar

1) Spread the spinach on a large platter. In a large skillet, cook the bacon over moderate heat until crisp, about 4 minutes. Drain off all but 2 tablespoons of the bacon fat.
2) Season the shrimp with salt and pepper and cook it with the bacon over moderately high heat until just white throughout, about 4 minutes. Add the beans, season with salt and pepper and toss until heated through, about 1 minute. Scrape the shrimp and beans onto the bed of spinach.
3) In the same skillet, heat 1 tablespoon of the olive oil. Add the shallot and cook over moderately low heat until softened, about 1 minute. Add the mustard to the skillet and whisk in the red wine vinegar, then whisk in the remaining 1/4 cup of olive oil. Season the dressing with salt and pepper, pour it over the salad and serve.
4 servings

Lemon-Almond Buttermilk Loaf
adapted from, Bon Appetit, April 1999
2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
1/2 t salt
1/2 t baking soda
2 cups sugar
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
3 large eggs
1/4 t almond extract
3/4 cup buttermilk
3/4 cup ground almonds (from about 3 1/2 ounces whole almonds)
1 T grated lemon peel
5 T fresh lemon juice

1) Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter and flour 9 x 5 x 2 1/2-inch metal loaf pan.
2) Sift flour, salt and baking soda into medium bowl. Using electric mixer, beat 1 1/2 cups sugar and butter in large bowl until well blended. Add eggs 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Mix in almond extract. Add dry ingredients to egg mixture alternately with buttermilk in 3 additions each, beating until well blended after each addition. Add ground almonds and lemon peel and beat 1 minute. Transfer batter to prepared pan.
3) Bake cake until deep golden brown and cracked on top and tester inserted into center comes out clean, about 1 hour 20 minutes. Cool cake in pan on rack 15 minutes.
4) Meanwhile, stir remaining 1/2 cup sugar and 5 tablespoons lemon juice in small bowl until sugar dissolves.
5) Place rack on baking sheet. Turn cake out onto rack, top side up. Using skewer or toothpick, poke holes 1 to 2 inches apart all over cake. Brush top and sides of cake with all of lemon glaze, allowing some glaze to soak into cake before brushing with more. Cool cake completely.
10 to 12 servings